The digital drama kicked off when an image of a local man in uniform began circulating. Skeptics were quick to cry “fake news”\u2014until an Investigative team at FAFO Justice, dropped the ultimate receipts: a raw, unfiltered, and very shirtless photo of the man in question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Identifying the “Brew-tagonist”<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n While facial recognition software is great, the internet preferred a more “visceral” method of identification. By comparing the shirtless selfie to a grainy video of a man allegedly spicing up his ex\u2019s morning coffee with \u201csoap\u201d, investigators (a.k.a. people on Facebook) noted some striking similarities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Specifically, the “dad-bod” geometry and distinct torso features in the videos seen HERE<\/strong><\/a> & HERE<\/strong><\/a> matched the selfie with 100% accuracy. As one commenter elegantly put it: “It is definitely his fat belly.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n A New Meaning to “Strong Brew”<\/p>\n\n\n\n The allegations suggest that Kris wasn’t just looking for a caffeine kick, but perhaps a “cleaner” finish to his ex-partner\u2019s morning routine. This has inspired a wave of “special edition” coffee labels including:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kris Douponce\u2019s Killer Koffee: Now with 2x the soap!<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00a0Alleged Poison Blend: The best part of waking up… is not having Kris in your cup.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Toxic Secrets Brew: Guaranteed to bubble over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Final Verdict: Be Scene in Jail<\/p>\n\n\n\n While the Battle Creek Police Department’s Chief Bagley runs cover for this guy, the court of public opinion has already delivered a spicy verdict. It turns out that if you’re going to allegedly tamper with beverages, you might want to wear a shirt\u2014or at least avoid having a belly that is more recognizable than your own face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Moral of the story: Keep your coffee black and your selfies private.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" By: FAFO Editorial Staff:Preferred Pronouns Told\/You\/So They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but in the case of Battle Creek\u2019s own Kris Douponce a shirtless selfie is worth exactly one police report and a very confused Folgers executive The digital drama kicked off when an image of a local man in uniform began […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":70,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16,9,7,33,17,32,42,19,41,31,43,5,8,6,1],"tags":[25,10,47,24,44,46,23,12,29,26,45,11],"class_list":["post-203","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-battle-creek","category-breaking-news","category-battle-cree","category-commentary","category-cover-ups","category-editorial","category-funny","category-investigative-citizen-journalism","category-op-ed","category-opinion","category-parody","category-police-corruption","category-slum-lords","category-true-crime","category-uncategorized","tag-attempted-murder","tag-battle-creek","tag-battle-creek-police","tag-cover-up","tag-funny","tag-investigation","tag-investigative-citizen-journalism","tag-kris-douponce","tag-michigan","tag-michigan-state-police","tag-parody","tag-police-corruption"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t![\"\"](\"https:\/\/fafojustice.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/douponcenoshirt1-472x1024.png\")
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